Happy Cinco de Mustache! You know where I'll be at 5pm today, feel free to join me.

In honor of a day dedicated to drinking for no good reason other than we enjoy any excuse, let's go over congressional plans for the coming summer term.

They're gearing up big time to appease the right wing. The Christian Science Monitor has coverage of their plans. It includes a pointless flag-burning amendment (despite no one in this country burning flags in protest since the boomers were at it).

GOP leaders are gearing up to bring a number of issues on the Christian conservative agenda to the floor of the House and Senate in the next few weeks, including gay marriage, broadcast decency, the 10 Commandments Act, a cloning ban, and laws protecting "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance.

"There's going to be some trouble down the road if they don't get on the ball," said Dr. James Dobson, in an interview with the Fox News Network on May 1. He's the chairman and founder of Focus on the Family, a Christian organization based in Colorado Springs, Colo., which is helping to organize some 40,000 events for the National Day of Prayer.

Inside the Capitol, lawmakers and historians are winding down their debate over how prominent the Bible should be in the text and displays on the history of the Congress in the $522 million Capitol Visitors Center, slated to open in 2007.

What is James Dobson a doctor of again? Advanced bigotry studies or something.

Anyway, since it's so much harder to mock Christians, in honor of the release of Mission Impossible III the jokers at HailXenu.net are planning to hire a plane to carry the message "Hail Xenu LOL <3 OT" over the opening night festivities in Hollywood. I don't understand exactly what they're saying, but I'm sure it's funny.

Maybe in honor of the FSM we should insist that the founding fathers were influenced by Xenu while drafting the constitution (they just didn't know it because their thetan levels were too low) and Scientology must be included in the future displays of the history of congress.