Lookout! Code Orange! Where's Tom Ridge! It's
an election year prepare for more bullshit security alerts!Notice we didn't see any of these for two years? Now get ready for a whole lot of reports lacking any actual information to make us feel afraid. Here's the basic format.
Homeland Security spokesman **insert stooge-name here** said **day** there is no specific or credible intelligence to indicate U.S. **spin wheel, insert potential target here** are being targeted by **spin wheel, choose between hijacking, suicide bombs, guy with torch trying to cut down Brooklyn bridge, or cooler full of bombs floating on river**.
I made none of those up. Yes, in the 2004 election cycle we were warned that
terrorists might blow us up with beer coolers.
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