Turns out, Lieberman has been keeping secrets from us. Dark, hidden, inner secrets dealing with the very nature of his divided soul. Little did we know, that late at night, Lieberman, dressed as his alter-ego, patrols the depths of the terrorist underground, looking for clues, preventing terror plots, and keeping us safe while we sleep in our beds.

I didn't know before yesterday when Dick Cheney told us the Al-Qaeda types were going to celebrate a Lamont victory. Little did I know that Joe Lieberman's super-powers are fueled by the heated debate of the Senate. Without his daily recharge in his bicameral fortress of deliberation, he can't face our evil foes at night.

I've been trying to imagine what Joe looks like in his super-garb, here's some of my initial ideas.

Maybe Joe just dons a cape over his usual senatorial garb.


Alternatively, Joe might be in charge of a powerful starship that he uses to monitor the terrorists. Joe says, "engage!"


Then again Joe might just be a kick-ass tough guy like the Punisher, taking on the terrorists with superior firepower.


Shit! Maybe he's Wolverine and we just can't see his claws!


Maybe not. Either way, one thing I now know for sure, there's no way I can sleep at night until I know Lieberman is safely ensconced in his Senate office for another term. He is all that lies between us and total chaos.