I loved this New Rule by Bill Maher from last Friday. I meant to post it earlier, sorry.

And finally, new rule: America must stop bragging that it is the greatest country on earth and start acting like it.

Now I know this is uncomfortable for the faith over facts crowd, but the greatness of a country can, to a large degree, be measured. Here's some numbers: infant mortality rate, America ranks 48 in the world; overall health, 72nd; freedom of the press, 44; literacy 55th. Do you realize there are 12-year-olds in this country that can't spell the name of the teacher they're having sex with?

Now America, I will admit, has done many things - making the new world democratic comes to mind, the Marshall plan, curing polio, beating Hitler, the deep-fried Twinkie. But what have we done for us lately? We're not the freest country - that would be Holland - where you can smoke hash in church and Janet Jackson's nipple is on the flag.

And sadly, we're no longer a country that can get things done either, not big things, like building a tunnel under Boston or running a war with competence. We had six years to fix the voting machines - couldn't get that done. The FBI is just now getting email. Prop 87 out here in California is about lessening our dependence on oil by using alternative fuels, and Bill Clinton comes out at the end of the ad and says, "If Brazil can do it America can too."

Excuse me, since when did America have to buck itself up by saying we can catch up to Brazil? We invented the airplane and the lightbulb, they invented bikini wax and now they're ahead?

In most of the industrialized world nearly everyone has healthcare, and hardly anyone doubts evolution. And yes, having to live amid so many superstitious dimwits is also something that affects quality-of-life. It's why America isn't going to be the country that gets the inevitable patents in stem cell cures, because Jesus thinks it's too close to cloning.

And did I mention we owe China a trillion dollars? We owe everybody money. America is a debtor nation to Mexico. We're not on a bridge to the 21st century, we're on a bus to Atlantic City with a roll of quarters.

And this is why it bugs me that so many people talk like it's 1955 and we're still number one in everything - we're not. And I take no glee in saying this because I love my country and I wish we were. But if you're number 55 in this category and number 92 in that one, you look a little silly waving the big foam number one finger.

As long as we believe being the greatest country in the world is a birthright, we'll keep coasting on the achievements of earlier generations and keep losing the moral high ground. Because we may not be the biggest or the healthiest or the best educated, but we always did have one thing no other place did. We knew soccer was bullshit. [Sorry Casmall]

And we always had a little thing called the Bill of Rights. A great nation doesn't torture people or make them disappear without a trial. Bush keeps saying the terrorists for our freedom, and he's working pretty hard to make sure pretty soon, that won't be a problem.

Damn right brother Bill, preach it!